


The Prom Incident

by formergirlwonder (orphan_account)



Series: Blue + Gold = Green [6]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: But they have really different standards, Everyone else is along for the ride to Crazytown, F/M, Future Fic, Nobody can break apart Bughead, Reggie's shitty improv, Senior year, Veronica just wants Betty to have a great relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-10 08:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10433223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/formergirlwonder
Summary: “But are you sure,” said Kevin, “that Bene—that Betty loves Archie so entirely?”“So says the prince—I mean, um, Veronica, and my new-trothed, uh, seat partner,” Reggie improvised lamely.Veronica could turn Archie down. Or, she could stage an elaborate, Much Ado About Nothing-style plot to convince Archie and Betty that they were each the object of the other’s undying affection, and witness the results. Specifically, Jughead stepping up his game.Or: when your best friend's relationship has less sexual chemistry than a pair of incestuous twins (one of whom is dead), then she needs to start shopping around. Immediately.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me...I wrote this fairly quickly and didn't have lots of editing time lol.

For years after the Prom Incident, Betty would flush bright pink whenever roses were mentioned, Archie would leave any room at the mere hint of a corsage, and Jughead couldn’t sit through discussion of a bouquet. At all.

It started like it always did: Betty didn’t want to go to prom because she thought Jughead wouldn’t want to. Veronica didn’t want to go to prom because she thought school dances lacked class (and because she was still psychologically scarred from three years of mandatory River Vixen after-parties). Archie wanted to go to prom, so he asked Veronica. 

Of course, Veronica could have turned Archie down. Unfortunately for the entirety of Riverdale High, Betty and Jughead had dragged the whole gang to see a large assortment of adapted-screenplay films over the weekend, supposedly as research for a project they were doing in English. As a result, Veronica had suffered through increasingly over-stylized versions of _Jane Eyre_ , _Pride and Prejudice_ , _Great Expectations_ , _Doctor Zhivago_ , _Apocalypse Now_ , and, most importantly, _Much Ado about Nothing_.

So, of course, Veronica could have turned Archie down. Or, she could have staged an elaborate plot to convince Archie and Betty that they were each the object of the other’s undying affection, and then witnessed the results.

There was never a question what she’d choose to do. 

In Veronica’s eyes, Jughead was getting complacent about his relationship with Betty. They were adorable, yes, but there was no real passion. No spark. They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other, but it was in a hand-holding sort of way, not in a _sexy_ sort of way. They kissed chastely, on a schedule, once when they met for their morning walk, once when he dropped her off for her first class, once when they met again at lunch, and once when he dropped her off at home. Betty, for her part, appeared far too comfortable around Jughead—winding her arms around his neck but not squeezing, kissing him but not biting his lip, tangling her hands through his hair without scratching a millimeter of his skin.

If it wasn’t for the fact that they kissed each other on the lips four times daily, any outside observer would have assumed that Jughead and Betty were brother and sister. In fact, according to the gossip mill, Jason and Cheryl Blossom, who were actually siblings, had been blessed with far more sexual chemistry than Betty and Jughead would ever have. Not that Veronica wanted that for Betty, but still: when your relationship is less sexy than _incest_ , it’s time to start shopping around. Veronica had an obligation as a friend, and she was going to fulfill it.

“Alright," she announced, surveying her audience of four, "this meeting is called to order."

“Why am I here?” Reggie asked petulantly, crossing his arms on his chest in a way designed to show off their musculature. Cheryl rolled her eyes and scooted another two feet away from him on the couch. Kevin, startled by the sudden movement, crammed his phone in his pocket and transferred his attention to Veronica as if he hadn’t spent the last ten minutes on Instagram, and Josie shot Reggie a vicious glare.

“Because there’s only so many boys at this school, and beggars can’t be choosers, Mantle. Listen up, folks. The issue on the table: this scene from Much Ado About Nothing.”

Everyone took a moment to squint at the projector, which was displaying a man crouching behind a shrub in a superbly ineffective attempt at camouflage, while three other men carried on a conversation with patently false nonchalance. “Everybody know this one?” Veronica asked. 

“I always wanted Benedict to get together with Claudio in that play…” Kevin mused.

“ _Kevin_! Claudio’s an _asshole_! Now, here’s the plan. We’re going to recreate this, but for Archie and Betty instead of Beatrice and Benedict.”

The room took a moment to process this. “Um, V, I hate to tell you this,” Josie began, “but Betty’s dating Jughead.”

“Yes, she is. I used to approve, but that relationship clearly isn’t going anywhere. So: Josie, Cheryl, you guys are going to tell me, in front of Betty, how Archie’s going crazy over her. Kevin, Reggie, you guys are going to have the same conversation in front of Archie. We’ll do Archie during the break between second and third period, and Betty during the break between third and fourth, and watch the drama play out at lunch.”

Nobody seemed very pleased with this idea, but Veronica took the opposition in stride.

* * *

Archie had barely finished packing his backpack when Cheryl strode into Professor Flutesnoot’s room. “Archie. Veronica sent me—against my will, by the way—to tell you that Kevin and Reggie are talking about you behind your back.”

Archie did a double take. “Really? What are they saying?”

For answer, Cheryl snatched his wrist and dragged him bodily out of the room, installing him in a shadowy recess of the nearby locker bay. “If you move a muscle,” she hissed, jabbing a perfectly filed nail into his face for emphasis, “I will _disembowel_ you.”

Archie nodded. “I believe you,” he whispered, straining to make out the distant murmurs of Kevin and Reggie. Cheryl floated off down the hallway, pulling her phone out of her purse and firing off a quick text.

“But are you sure,” said Kevin, “that Bene—that _Betty_ loves Archie so entirely?”

Archie let out a sigh of relief. Of all the things that Kevin and Reggie could have been talking about, Betty’s crush on him was one of the safest. Everyone knew Betty had a crush on him, even though she was dating Jughead.

“So says the prince—I mean, um, _Veronica_ , and my new-trothed, uh, seat partner,” Reggie improvised lamely.

“Um, let’s skip the next few pages. This script is really long.” That was a bit of a non sequitur, but Archie couldn’t make any sense of it, so he ignored it.

“Sure. Yet tell him of it. Hear what he will say.” Reggie said. That last bit sounded like it had to do more with Archie, so he paid a little more attention.

“No, rather will I go to Betty and counsel her to fight against her passion; and truly I’ll devise some honest slanders to stain my cousin with. I have _no_ idea what my cousin has to do with anything, but okay. One doth not know how much an ill word may empoison liking,” Kevin finished sagely.

“Oh, do not do your cousin such a wrong!” Reggie exclaimed flatly. “Is Archie your cousin, Kev?”

“Nope.”

“Um, where am I…um, I’m gonna skip a bit…here we go. I pray you, be not angry with me, madam—I mean, Kevin—speaking my fancy. Signior— _ina_ , Signorina Betty, for shape, for bearing, argument, and valor, goes foremost in report through Italy. And also Riverdale,” Reggie finished lamely.

“Indeed,” Kevin added contemplatively, “she has an excellent good name.” 

“His excellence did earn it, ere he had it. When are you married, madam?” There was a pregnant pause. “Oh, _shit_. Let’s get out of here.”

The two boys departed, leaving behind a very confused redhead.

Incidentally, they also left a _very_ confused, beanie-wearing brunette.

* * *

“Oh my _god_!” Veronica yelled shrilly, throwing up her hands in disgust. “I cannot _believe_ you two. How hard could it possibly be? All you had to do was read the script and change a few of the names and pronouns! It’s not rocket science, but _apparently_ , you guys had to mess it up!”

Betty poked her head in the door. “Am I interrupting something, guys?”

“Um, no!” said Veronica brightly. “Definitely not. In fact, Kev has been looking for you, right, Kevin?”

Phase two of the plan was about to begin.


	2. Chapter 2

“Look, V, you can’t tell Betty,” Josie reasoned. “The guy’s a nutcase—he’s written more songs in the past week than ever, and they’re all about golden-haired angels heralding perfection. She’s over him. Just let it slide.” 

“Don’t!” Cheryl insisted. “I hardly ever get involved in your plebeian affairs, but somebody’s got to do something about this. He’s practically reeking of unrequited love. Archie needs to just man up to her, and get it over with.” 

“Well,” said Veronica soothingly, “maybe she’ll find out on her own and do something about it. Speaking of doing something, I’m pretty sure we need to figure out prom decorations sooner rather than later. My fellow student council members really couldn’t care less, so I’m roping you guys in for your fashion expertise. Thoughts?”

The girls moved off down the hallway. In the locker bay, Betty stood up and stretched. “Kev?”

“He’s gone,” Jughead informed Betty, coming up from behind her. 

“You’re kidding.” A sudden thought struck Betty. “By the way, do you think Archie’s been acting weird, lately?”

Jughead took a moment to contemplate this. “No, not really. Kevin’s not getting married, is he?” he asked.

“What?” 

“And you’re not moving to Italy?”

“Why would I move to _Italy_?”

“I have no idea. Kev and Reggie were having this weird conversation. I only got in on the end, but it was something about how everyone in Italy thought you were great, and then Reggie asked Kevin when he was getting married. But the gender pronouns were weird? The whole thing makes no sense.” 

“Our _lives_ make no sense, Jug. No, but Cheryl and Josie were saying that Archie has changed his mind about—“

“About what?” Jughead prodded. Betty’s face had gone suddenly slack, and she was staring at something behind Jughead’s beanie.

“Oh no. Jug, we need to get out of here…like, seriously now, before he sees us…” Betty whispered urgently. Jughead turned around to see who she was talking about.

“Hey guys!” Archie greeted enthusiastically.

“And he saw us,” Betty finished quietly.

“This should be fun,” Jughead whispered back. “Hey Arch!”

“Hi, Jug. Can I talk to Betty? Alon—" 

He was cut off by the bell for fourth period. Before Archie had time to get his bearings again, Betty and Jughead were nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Things ended up coming to a head (sort of) at lunch.

It happened like this:

1\. Betty and Jughead sat down at the lunch table. Veronica, who had been sitting on Betty’s other side for much of senior year, chose to sit across from them. Compared to the other weird things that had happened that day, Veronica picking a different seat seemed inconsequential.

2\. Actually, it seemed inconsequential at _first_ , but only until Archie showed up, claimed the seat on the other side of Betty and asked her to go to prom with him. In front of everyone.

3\. Surprisingly, the factor that irked Jughead the most in all this was that Archie didn’t even say hello to anyone at the table first. 

4\. Betty turned to Jughead, her eyes telegraphing a silent apology, before saying brightly, “Actually, I’m going with Juggie.” 

5\. Veronica Lodge swooped in for the kill, her eyes gleaming. “Why don’t you three all go _together_? Like Betty and Archie and I did sophomore year?”

6\. Jughead snorted. “Because that worked out so well and didn’t cause any drama,” he deadpanned to Betty across the table. Betty snickered, and Veronica asked coolly what they were saying, and why didn’t they share with the table? They then burst out into contradictory lies about the quality of Betty’s lunch that day. Kevin, sitting down at the table, fist-bumped Veronica underneath it, but regrettably, none of their victims noticed this.

7\. “I don’t have a dress,” Betty prevaricated, her cheeks flushing red.

8\. Veronica scented blood. “You’re going with Jughead and you don’t have a dress yet? When did he ask you?” It was Wednesday. The dance was Friday night. 

9\. Betty ignored the question. “I mean, though, the three-way date sophomore year was a _friend_ thing, and Juggie and I are _dating_!”

10\. “You should totally borrow one of my dresses!” Veronica insisted, as if Betty had replied to her. “Oh my gosh, I wish I could come, you three are going to look so cute together!”

11\. Jughead and Betty stared at each other helplessly. Archie took the opportunity to drape his arm around Betty’s shoulder. For having such a desperate crush on him, she didn’t lean into his touch as much as he had expected, but it was probably because she was afraid of excessive PDA in public. 

* * *

Betty and Jughead figured out what had happened in the course of one afternoon, based solely off Betty’s positioning in the locker bay, the fact that Reggie had called Kevin _madam_ , and that the conversation had mentioned Italy. 

“Of course it’s _Much Ado_ , it makes sense. There were only two boys, so they modeled that one off the girls’ conversation. But why the hell does Veronica want me to think that Archie likes me? Do you think Archie thinks I like _him_?”

Jughead considered this. “Betts, let’s not worry about it. I mean, Reggie and Kevin were doing a horrible, horrible job. I don’t think they could have convinced _me_ that you liked me, let alone Archie.”

“You know I like you, right?” Betty asked softly, adding, “And you know why I like you, too.”

“You could always tell me, you know, and stroke my ego a little,” Jughead deadpanned. 

“Shut up!” Betty laughed. 

“What, do I have to tickle you to get it out of you? Or put you in the torture couch from _30 Rock_?”

In the extremely enjoyable conversation that followed, neither of them remembered a crucial piece of information: Archie had no clue that Veronica was playing them.

* * *

Thus, things came to a head again at prom itself.

Jughead, who had sold his book to a publisher and was thus no longer strapped for cash, remembered at the last minute to bring Betty a corsage. Archie, whose father insisted on his being a gentleman in all situations, also brought Betty a corsage. And, neither Archie’s corsage nor Jughead’s corsage was a wrist corsage.

Betty had tried to avoid awkwardness by meeting both boys at the venue itself, which meant that the whole senior class was privy to the ensuing Scene.

Jughead arrived shortly before Archie. He and Betty kissed, and then Jughead pulled his corsage out of its box and pinned it on Betty. Betty fumbled in her bag, found one of the two boutonnieres, and was in the process of pinning it on him when Archie arrived. Betty greeted Archie with a hug, and Archie pulled his corsage out of its box—to find that Jughead’s corsage already occupied his corsage’s destined spot on Betty’s chest. In desperation, he checked the other side of her chest: but the dress was an off-the-shoulder dress, which meant that corsage placement options were virtually nonexistent.

He tried to fasten the corsage next to its twin, but Betty pulled away. “Archie, you’re poking me!”

Jughead added, “Arch, can you not squish her corsage, please?”

“Okay,” said Archie. “Hey, Betty, do you want to go dance?”

That was the final straw for Betty. She took a deep breath and forced herself to be reasonable. “Archie, I think I should dance with Jug first, since, you know, he’s my _boyfriend_.” 

“Um, guys?” said Jughead tentatively. “Could we do this somewhere else? There’s a bunch of people watching us.”

Archie’s eyes widened. “But you like me! I mean, you’ve always liked me, and I thought—”

“She doesn’t _like_ you, okay?” said Jughead, rapidly taking stock of the situation. “You got _Benedicked_.”

“Huh?” said Archie. “Kevin and Reggie said—”

Betty interposed herself between her two dates. “Kevin and Reggie read a Shakespeare script to you. Think about it! Didn’t they sound weird?”

Kevin and Reggie looked at each other with growing alarm.

Jughead pulled the script up on his phone. “Look familiar, buddy?”

Archie squinted at it for a moment. “Sort of? I think? But I don’t know. I don’t remember any of that part.” 

“Maybe they skipped it?” Betty suggested.

“We didn’t skip it,” said Reggie automatically, casting a furtive glance at Veronica, who had arrived, dateless, to witness the mayhem. 

“Reggie!” Kevin moaned.

“What did I do?” Reggie asked with genuine confusion.

“Wait, so the whole thing was your idea?” Betty asked, marching up to Veronica. 

“I didn’t want to actually get you together with Archie! I just thought competition might inspire Jughead to step up his game!” Veronica pleaded. “Please don’t be mad at me, Betty. I didn’t intend to make this sort of scene.”

Betty melted. “It’s okay, V. Look, Jughead’s a great boyfriend.”

Archie was still trying to process the details of his ‘Benedicktion’. “But Betty _likes_ me, I thought. I mean, no offense, Betty, but Jughead looks happier eating a burger than he does with you. And Betty just looks like she’d rather be with Veronica.”

“So you took _that_ data and decided that she liked you?” Jughead deadpanned.

“Well, I didn’t think you guys were really dating! I mean, you just stand next to each other most of the time,” Archie protested.

Veronica touched Betty’s arm soothingly. “Look, Betty, I just thought you guys were missing a bit of the spark and sizzle that people in relationships normally have.”

That did it for Jughead. “Okay, but you haven’t seen our grand finale yet,” he declared.

“Did you just steal my line?” Veronica queried dangerously.

“Can it, Lodge,” Jughead snapped. Betty, who knew the drill by now, turned to face him expectantly.

He stared at her lips for a long second.

“What are you waiting for?” Reggie barked uproariously. “Give us a show!”

And that was the problem, right there. Jughead and Betty met each other’s eyes in silent accord. “No,” said Betty simply. “C’mon, Juggie, let’s get out of here.”

They made it outside with minimal incident (except for the fact that Archie tried to grab Betty by the arm to apologize and ended up nearly stabbing her with the pin end of the corsage).

“We’re never going to live that down,” Jughead told Betty.

“I don’t want to,” said Betty simply, gazing up at him. “They need to learn their lesson.”

“This isn’t the sort of prom night you deserve.”

“You don’t deserve it either. I say we go drown our sorrows in milkshakes at Pop’s.”

“You read my mind.”

* * *

“I know what you did,” Cheryl announced to Veronica. “This would have been fine if she’d worn any other dress, but you _told_ her to borrow your off-the-shoulder dress. Were you trying to ruin her prom?”

“Nope,” said Veronica, smiling. “I just needed to make sure that everything got out in the open. Otherwise, Archie might have thought she was actually into him. Now, Betty has closure, Jughead doesn’t have to be insecure about Archie, and Archie knows enough to stop wanting someone he can’t have.”

“I’m impressed,” Cheryl declared. “You’re just as much of a bitch as I am, and here I thought Riverdale had softened you up.”

“As if,” Veronica scoffed. “Are you going to try to beat me out for the title of Best Manipulator?”

“We could share it,” Cheryl suggested softly.

“I could live with that,” Veronica agreed. “What do you say, we ditch this party?”

“Give me a second to murder Reggie, and I’ll be right there with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this! Bughead forever!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
